Unit 10

This blog will probably be somewhat of a repeat from the discussion board, but I have really valued this class. Although I had some freakish moments and was ranting in some of the blog posts everyone still made such a difference to me. I am sad class is over, but at the same time its becoming so much closer to the end of my goal and that is something that makes me happy, because I can look back a year ago and say to myself, "look what you have done." Yeah look what I've done. I am still not sure I chose the right field for me to go into, but I have plans to do more school and eventually I will find the perfect spot to do, or at least I hope so. Good luck everyone and I hope you all find happiness and reach your goals.

Farwell ALL
Sugar

Unit 9

Nothing like a summer storm to highlight the moment. I love the lighting, even if the thunder is so loud. mix a little rain with that and I am lost in accelerated energy produced only in form of a moments glance. Much of my pleasure of such a storm makes me overly joyous to live in Florida just for this reason. The storms like this that occur in Oregon are not nearly as intoxicating, though they too are beautiful in their own right. One can not be delusioned by the casualties it can cause, but I prefer to see the wonderment in such power of earths beautiful energy.

Unit 8

Have you ever found yourself staring at the screen in front of you wondering what it is you should propose to put down? I do come to this place often. I love to write, sometimes the thoughts flowing across my mind sound so much awesome until they are staring back at me in black and white. Do you ever have moments like that? Like some thoughts, you think, and then say them out loud, and realize that's not how it sounded in my head. I have many things on my mind, as most people do, only if I could fallow the train of thought to write it down where it would free itself from me. As a child I have tried to keep journals, but I learned young that secret words even though they need to flow sometimes can damage without meaning too, so I discovered a new way to journal, but not make it seem as if I was trying to hurt anyone, it was a form of code. I learned the art of poetry, and my what a release it seemed to be, and I discovered I'm not to bad at it either. Still I wish I could somehow write down the truth if you will and put it in a book, not just poems but a story that would flow from me, but be me and still be worth reading. I've been thinking about this a lot. I once heard the best way to write, it to write what you know. Also you can always get information, but if its about me and my thought process couldn't I posses a way of making it interesting, there in that lays my challenge.

Unit 7

I'm posting unit 7 a little early, mostly because of time but because my writers feigned is out full force at the moment and I thought I might share some poetry with you all.

In the crested night of a waking soul,
The pondering fate of knowledge lulled.
Heart felt secrets,
In-cased in sin,
Doomed by desired that crept with-in.
Listless dreams of forgotten youth,
The pain full scream of silents truth.
Blessed by the sun,
awake in the day,
Truth of the follower so they lay.

@Copyrights of Sugar Gore

This one is not titled but writing poetry has always been a part of who I am, I think I get lots without it. Sometimes I forget that I really need to just write randomness even if it does not make sense for at some point in my life it is a much needed stress reliever. I hope you enjoy my randomness at the moment.

Unit 6

I'd like to say I'm calm and confidant, but in truth I'm a bit overwhelmed. I have two major writing projects this unit and I wish in away they could be about the same thing. So lots of work, and I've been trying to do both as I go so it isn't so overwhelming, but seems I'm still a bit lost. In any case I have to work hard, Have this kids this weekend and work all weekend as well. Doesn't leave a lot of time for me this week to get my stuff accomplished, but hey I'll do my best.

Unit 5

Okay so this class is great, but I love the way it interacts with eachother and how the professor is very much in learning from us as well as teaching. I've been doing classes at Kaplan for a year now, well just about, and though I've had some hard professors and what not, I've mostly still been impressed with there interaction in seminar. The other class I have this term has been kind of a dissappointment to me so far, only because the interaction is lacking and I'm not all together sure if its the professor or the paticular way she is suppose to be doing the seminar. As an individual she is probably great, and I think she said she's taken classes at Kaplan, so you know she's had her own experiences at the seminar, *shrugs* I just dont know. Personally though I would rather just stick with the book then go to her seminar its like the same thing for me, I dont feel as if I gain anything except wasted time. Okay rant done...

Unit 4

I've not mentioned this before, but my ex and I moved to florida a few years ago in hopes of a new life and what have you. As we all know change happens in people and sometimes people change and others dont. Anyway we share the kids. Well that is my goal, but at the present we each have them in a six month split sharing every other weekend to the rotating parent. As I thought this would be the best do to the fact a live with a person whom does not have kids and she is willing enough to share her house but isnt all that patient when it comes to the kids on a long term basis, that being said she is really great though. There dad lives with his girlfriend and family about 1 hr and 45min drive both directions. Now mind you its coming to my term to have them back, and I know the road is crazy but I think my time will be better with them with me then away from me, because whomever has them full time the other parent drives to get them. I have not time for anything, my job schedule sucks and when I do have a weekend off and I actually have them I still dont have time. I feel the weight and preasure sucking me under and I'm just so tired and the whole point was to make life equal on both ends. Not sure its really worked out that way. I am trying to get a different job, for more money andbetter hours. I also am freaked out about the clinical we are suppose to do cause were suppose to have shot records which I dont have and havnet figured out to get. Because my state only goes back so far if your a certain age it wont give you the records which means I guess I have to get the shots again, but with what money and the medical exam, I've not seen a doctor in like six years. The CPR certification is the only thing not freaking me out I can do that pretty simply. Though I am learning a lot and have learned a lot, i'm not completely sure continueing this course of action is my best option but really isnt like I have any others at this point either. Sorry my brain is swimming and has to many thing flowing at once.....

Lifes past and present

Sometimes life throws things my way that I just dont understand. I seriously try my hardest to be positive. Let me tell you this in itself is a big feet. However lately I just feel numb. I feel numb to everything. I really dont know if its a passing thing or if its a rut I'm flopping into. On the plus side I've become re-aquainted with a long time friend. Whom I miss terribly. I thought that being able to communicate would help, but it kind of has hindered my thoughts a bit. I was happy to reconnect, but I am also saddened. Odd.

UNIT3 Topics

I'm not completely sure, but writing about myself and my family seems a bit distressful. I love writing so I'll just come out with it now. I have chose my topic on some form of Bipolar Disorder. I will use that term know matter how my paper goes. Now what I mean by it refering to me me is, it is me. Its my family and its seems to posses everything and anything I've pretty much done or have had done in my life. That is not to say I hang on every word of such a disorder and use it to an excuse. Most day I am great and at this present time in my life I am not medicated. Like most kids I was depressed often and slightly anit social, and humor was funny when others hurt themselves it was slightly morbid but it didnt pertain to me so I found it amusing. Now I had an erratic mother and she was very obsessive compulsive about everything her life. Or as a child I never wanted to step on her toes. I feard my mother. She was like I dont know Mommy Dearest, not always but a lot. In fact some things she does not recollect an of course she wouldnt mania is strange thing and does very weird things to the mind. As a teenager I always felt weird different disconnected. All the counselors always told me it was normal for these things given my past history. Howerver something just didnt seem productive to me and self harm was my own outlet. I would at first bite myself in places know one could see until I had horrible bruises or just almost break the skin. I'll leave it at that. I however got pregnant at a young age and honestly thought that some how this baby was going to save me from myself. Cause up until this point it was really time for my life to end, it was just a matter of how to consister it, I really couldnt stand my own skin. He was the most sweetest awesomest baby any teenager girl would be lucky to have. He was my world. However the hormones snapped in me and I become more adjitated and disconnected. Not exactly from him, but when he was about two I can remember almost being outside myself looking at the situation and realizing I was repeating behavior I Knew was NOT acceptable. I got Help, or so I thought, they did a lot of shuffling around with me till it seemed everything pointless, I knew I had to keep track of this weirdness so I didnt wig out on my kid. Then a doctor talked me one day and my sons dad and between all of us, gave me some question I answered an then I realized I was bipolar II. I was 19. I might continue this tell later.

This site

I will not say that I am surfing fabulous, but I do not seem to have an abundance of patience for this blog place. Of course I do like to write randomly however this seems complicated compaired to other bloggin places I've been too. Could have something to do with google. Google and I just dont mesh for some reason everything about google is complicated to me... LOL.

First post

How original, but anyway thought I would try it right? This is just a test run I'm sure I'll write all kinds of things on here at some point. Anways this is good for now.